| When it comes to family it is true
what they say–you can't pick them. As with
anyone else, they are going to let you down at
times and grate on your last nerve, but that
comes with the territory. Not long ago I mended some fences in
my family. My family was involved in a feud that
lasted 10 years. It took the death of a beloved
aunt to bridge the gap between us. To tell the
truth I don't remember all the things we were
feuding over.
However, I do remember
wanting to meet my father's side of the family. I
knew what they were going to be like before I met
them (in my mind at least). When the meeting
occurred, I was not prepared for what I found.
The people that fell out of the family tree were
not to my liking at all.
Instead of the perfect
traditional family I envisioned–I was
slammed with reality: alcoholism, public
assistance, alternative lifestyles, domestic
violence, drug habits, drug dealing, murder and
jail sentences.
We tried to get to
know each other and form relationships.
It didn't work because both sides could not see
past their own preconceived notions of who the
other should be. They didn't like me and the
feeling was mutual. Misunderstandings and
intolerance nearly destroyed our family.
Today, an older and wiser
Vette, realizes two things; there are no
perfect families and family is
everything. All families have skeletons that fall
out of the closet when you don't want them to.
Mine may be dysfunctional, but so are the
majority of American families if you ask
structural functionalists.
It doesn't matter that we
are not the same. Their likes and dislikes don't
have to be mine. Most importantly their actions
are not a reflection on me as a person. They are
who they are and I am who I am. We are a family.
The person that said, “Life
is short, love hard” was right.
Life is short and we don't often realize this
until it is too late. None of us knows when we
will expire from this life so we should spend
what little time we have loving the people who
are special to us. Don't let sins of the past and
stupid little arguments you can't even remember
keep you from your family.
Know this, blood is
thicker than water and I can honestly
say that I love my family, warts and all. Can
you?
`Til next week be safe.
For column ideas, questions
or comments E-mail me at foreverstorm66@aol.com
|
