“Starsky and Hutch” Directed by Todd Phillips Warner Bros. 2004 *****

movie review.
Starsky and Hutch remake sputters

By David Waldron
Northern Light

I went to this movie with really high expectations. The previews looked funny, the story looked funny and it was directed by Todd Phillips (“Old School”). My expectations were pretty much crushed.

“Starsky and Hutch” has a cast that screams, “This is a great movie!” Owen Wilson is almost always hilarious. Ben Stiller, when given the right role, is a riot. And Vince Vaughn is just plain cool. The cast seems fail-safe, but poor scriptwriting and mediocre acting just kill this movie’s potential.

Based on the 1970s television series, “Starsky and Hutch” is a movie about two cops with very different styles of crime fighting. Starsky (Stiller) is arrogant, self-righteous and anal-retentive about everything he does. Hutch (Wilson) is the laid-back and likeable cop.

The mission at hand: stop Vince Vaughn’s character from selling an enormous load of cocaine that’s undetectable by just about anything, even drug-sniffing German shepards. In the process, the two characters have to iron out the problems that arise from being two different kinds of cops.

The movie seems like it would be hilarious, but it’s not. Stiller and Wilson just don’t have chemistry that delivers. Most of the jokes are just dumb, and the actors’ attempts to make this movie good seem half-hearted. One example is the dance-off between Stiller and a very greasy-looking victim of the ‘70s. This may sound familiar because Stiller already did it once in “Zoolander.” Although it was mildly humorous then, it was just cheesy and annoying in “Starsky and Hutch.” Crappy scriptwriting is relatively consistent throughout the film.

Even Will Ferrell, who is probably my favorite comedian of all time, shows only a thin shell of his usual wit and vitality. Ferrell plays Big Ed, an incarcerated biker that Starsky and Hutch try to get information from. When Ferrell came in with a fish net on his head I was ready to burst and found myself thinking, “This movie just got good.” But after five minutes of pointless perversion my expectations were once again shot down.

Snoop Dogg’s guest appearance doesn’t exactly up the film’s quality either. He may have been bearable to watch in “Training Day,” but he just helps drag “Starsky and Hutch” down.

In this movie’s defense, there are a few very funny parts. They may be few and far between, but they’re definitely in there. Just when the movie is getting bland, someone gets stabbed with a kitchen knife. It is certainly not awful, it’s just nothing worth seeing right away.

I suppose the trick to seeing “Starsky and Hutch” is to go thinking it could suck just like any other movie. Once you’re in the right mindset it will make it more enjoyable. But if you want to see real quality, go watch “Old School.”